In what would pass for a memoir, Glory Osei returns to Twitter in the manner of cocky Blaqbonez to spit her fiery “truths”.
It should be noted that the series of tweets features the voices of both Glory and her partner, Muyiwa. But some Twitteratti think it was the voice of Jacob and hand of Esau.
But it is Glory Osei’s handle. Right?
She is unshaken, brazen and unrepentant in her In the 182-tweet long epistle She opens with a quote:
“The collective intelligence of a mob is less than that of a toddler or the early man or a tadpole.”
Osei, who along with Muyiwa came under fire for a series of allegations ranging from fraud to staff abuse makes her come back a month later determined not to give in to the “mob” bent on destroying her:
“I refuse to be silent. I have dealt with… an E-mob determined to E-lynch me. The last thing I will do is hide in fear and keep quiet.”
“They say silence is the best answer for a fool, but in situations where the foolish is the majority, it is always best to use your voice. Not because you can change their mind, but because your are the author of your story. Don’t let fools be your narrator.”
Her fiery tweets are a cocktail of her side of the story laden with a large dose of insults:
“This is the best you would get from me. An insult laden tirade.”
“Your loss, not mine. I am great. Like I am balling. I probably made a million while typing this, not a lot, but its getting better I promise. How much did you make? Am I poverty shaming you? You deserve worse, and you would get it.”
“To think I would have come here to apologise for surviving you, I mean, I would have, like I said, I wanted peace, but you brought war and lies, lies as unoriginal as the other times you have done so, and I would bring you nothing but the truth”
The issues addressed in the thread include their multiple businesses from jewellery, waist trainer, PorkMoney, LandLagos to their marriage and staff relations.
Here are the things we learned from the epistle.
Marriage
Osei acknowledges that she is married to Muyiwa Folorunso. But marriage for her is just a convenient necessity – a means of escaping from her family. Did they hate her?
“I have never liked the idea of marriage,” she wrote. “I love the person I married but quite frankly, he was a good excuse to leave my parents and he is also good to look at. He was like me too in that he wasn’t into the idea himself.
“Our marriage was a good excuse to continue with the lives we always dreamed of.
“I heard you guys were mad MAD because I am married. Apparently I give “single girl” vibes ?
F*CK ALL OF YOU!”
What Fraud?
Osei does not think she is a fraud. Not at all. But she thinks it is cool to be a capitalist who specialises in living of (sic) other people’s sweat.
“You people called me a fraud, someone said I take my company’s money and take trips around the world with it. I live large of other people’s sweat. I mean, I guess I do, I think it called capitalism. You dumbasses. You can barely read, you can barely write, you maths is sh*t
Fake Not Fake Slimming Tea
Calling all hip-hop heads…did you know Jay Z did not make more Benjamins (read dollars) selling drugs than Glory Osei did selling her slimming tea?
I mean, the tea she acknowledges was “consistent in the result it gave.” And you know what? She says she stopped selling it because, like Mother Teresa, she was interested in helping people.
“And I have since stopped selling it. Not because of that, but because I really wanted to do something that didn’t just add money to my account, I wanted to do something that actually helps people. Maybe you should go to your…
“but it didn’t take me long to see that this product was not consistent in the result it gave. But the money was good and the distributors kept coming. So I kept selling. Which one of you would have closed down a business that can generate millions of Dollars because it…
“tools at our disposal. Jay Z sold drugs, I sold slim tea, I mean, I sold a lot of slim tea. Good chance I made more money than Jay Z did selling drugs. But that was story, and the sad part is, I had always wanted to write a book about it. To help the next person.
Thieving staff…?!
Remember it was the former staff of the businesses Glory and her husband own that first alleged that the maltreated their staff. But Osei said her former staff were thieves.
“Now let’s talk about staff theft and the real reasons for a lot of anger from the blast from the past people. One of the things you have to understand is that your employees in Nigeria for the best part are”
“Clearly in my businesses up until now I have built an army of disgruntled former employees, some of them righteous in their anger, many not.”
LandLagos Blunders
Osei acknowledges that there were problems with LandLagos property. Like a good capitalist, she saw the “promise” the property had. But shouldn’t a good capitalist also see the dangers of not having the requisite documents for such property, especially in Lagos where one plot can be sold to an entire village?
“With Landlagos we made some blunders. Firstly we got property that didn’t have all it documents but had a promise. At the time we got it we were told it had some of the necessary documents with the rest being things we could work out with the right sum”
Then Came The Apology and…
Osei dangles the stick. Then she brings the carrot out of her bag despite promising that the best she has to offer are insults.
“But I have an apology to make… I was wrong. It was tough love from my point of view, but I was wrong. I was irritable and a diva, and I raised my voice because that was the only way I had ever been able to get anything done…
“Now I apologise. For then I thought of you as an equal and gave you the energy I assumed was respect, but looking back now, I should have hid my iron hands in a velvet glove and be a lot more nurturing and forgiving about your mistakes. You came to learn after all.”
But then, she brings out the stick. Again. Whack! Whack!
It turns out the apology is meant to soften the chin for the blows that would later follow.
“What were you expecting? A video of me wearing a scarf with no make up crying and begging for your approval. A drop of social currency? ?Do I look like that person? Can you not see my turtle neck and bald head? I am having fun and riding this wave, keep the water coming. Dummies”
PS: But despite the length of the thread, @Chxta thinks his 286-tweet thread still holds the crown. Maybe Osei should heed the advice of those who want her to continue her thread till she hits number 419!
THE GUARDIAN