Budget of Hope, Generator of Reality
Once every year, with full fanfare, Aso Rock-supplied cheerleaders, and cameras zoomed in on agbada creases, the Nigerian government presents the Budget of Hope. It’s the country’s longest-running fiction series: longer than Super Story, more padded than Big Brother’s mattress, and just as scripted.
You’ll hear:
“This is a budget of renewed transformation and inclusive sustainable exponential growth.”
Ah yes, grammar full everywhere. But go outside the gate of the budget presentation venue, and you’ll find:
- A pothole the size of a swimming pool.
- Hawkers fighting over ₦200 change.
- A public school using chalkboard from 1993.
Yet, somehow, the budget allocates:
- ₦18 billion for “Digital Smart Education Access Portals”
- ₦600 million for “Aquatic Heritage Infrastructure” in dry land states
- ₦1.5 billion for “Reactivation of Morale and Inter-Governmental Harmony”
What does that even mean? Even Google is confused.
The budget is essentially a national lie in PDF format. It’s filled with beautifully phrased deceit like:
- “Community Wellness Enhancement” → (one broken borehole in a politician’s backyard)
- “Strategic Rural Illumination” → (they bought one generator)
- “Youth Engagement Package” → (they shared branded face caps)
Read also: Jumping Like WiFi Since 1999: A Satirical Series—Part 8
And of course, the king of them all:
Overhead Costs — ₦22.3 Billion
Please, who is this Overhead and is he running for President in 2027?
Let’s expose the scam.
They’ll allocate billions to rural electrification, but the only thing shining in that village is:
- The Honorable’s Benz headlights
- And the photographer’s flash when the “launch” photo is taken
The Ministry of Power runs on generator.
The Budget Office uses diesel.
The National Assembly buys 500KVA generators — and then budget ₦100 billion for electricity reform.
Imagine budgeting ₦50 billion for solar lights, and the state secretariat staff still charge their phones at a mama put joint across the street.
When you question them, they’ll say:
“Funds have not yet been released.”
Yet Honorable just came back from London with a new Rolex and a stomach the size of an inflated budget line.
Oh, and let’s talk about implementation. Only in Nigeria does 70% of the budget go to “recurrent” expenses, i.e.:
- Salaries for ghost workers,
- Sitting allowances for people who have never stood,
- And travel allowances for people who haven’t left their office.
By December, less than 30% of capital projects are touched — and 100% of corruption is completed.
Then the auditor-general releases a report:
“₦480 billion unaccounted for in 13 MDAs.”
And what happens next?
Committee. (As we covered in Episode 8.)
If you’re still angry, don’t worry — they’ll repackage the same nonsense next year and call it:
Budget of Accelerated Sustainability for Renewed Inclusive Growth.
But in reality, the only thing sustained is poverty, the only thing renewed is the convoy, and the only thing inclusive is hunger.
So, next time they say:
“We have budgeted ₦2 trillion for economic revival,”
Ask them:
“Revival for who, sir? Because NEPA just took light again.”
Professor MarkAnthony Ujunwa Nze is a distinguished Nigerian-born investigative journalist, public intellectual, and global governance analyst, whose work spans critical intersections of media, law, and policy. His expertise extends across strategic management, leadership, and international business law, where he brings a nuanced understanding of institutional dynamics, cross-border legal frameworks, and executive decision-making in complex global environments.
Currently based in New York, Professor Nze serves as a full tenured professor at the New York Centre for Advanced Research. There, he spearheads interdisciplinary research at the forefront of governance innovation, corporate strategy, and geopolitical risk. Widely respected for his intellectual rigor and principled advocacy, he remains a vital voice in shaping ethical leadership and sustainable governance across emerging and established democracies.