The Political Retirement Plan — From Senator to Chief Priest to Chairman of Everything
In a functional democracy, politicians retire to memoirs, lectures, and foundation work. In Nigeria? They retire into more power.
Yes o, here in the Federal Republic of Chop and Continue, political retirement is a myth. Our politicians don’t fade — they evolve. From “Distinguished Senator” to “High Chief,” “Board Chairman,” “Elder Statesman,” or even “Prayer Coordinator, Abuja Chapter.”
Because why rest when you can still chair committees, supervise ghost projects, or be appointed “special envoy” to countries that don’t know you exist?
Let’s break it down.
Step 1: Senator Emeritus Phase
After 12 years of sleeping in the Senate chambers and collecting wardrobe allowance for the 19th time, Baba retires — or so you think. Suddenly, he’s announced as:
“Chairman, Presidential Committee on Climate and Cultural Synergy.”
What does that mean? Nobody knows.
Deliverables? Zero.
Budget? ₦1.6 billion.
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Step 2: Board Chairman Phase
Now he becomes Chairman of Everything:
- Chairman, NNPC Board.
- Chairman, National Lottery Commission.
- Chairman, Committee on Committee Chairmen.
He doesn’t attend meetings. But he gets allowances. His grandchildren call him “Daddy AGM.”
You ask why someone over 75 is chairing a tech board. They reply:
“He brings experience.”
Experience from what — fax machine?
Step 3: Chief Priest Phase
Once they’ve chopped the last contract, it’s time to go spiritual.
The same man who rigged five elections and slapped a police officer during primaries is now:
“Evangelist of National Redemption.”
He starts quoting Psalms on Arise TV and becomes a keynote speaker at church conventions, giving TED Talks titled “The Grace of Governance.”
You see him at Shiloh, front row.
At RCCG Congress, speaking in tongues.
At a shrine in Ibadan, receiving chieftaincy as “Asiwaju of Economic Liberation.”
Double portion anointing, dual worship strategy. Baba is securing heaven and pension.
Step 4: TV Panelist Phase
This is the peak. Every Sunday morning, he’s on TV.
“When I was in office, we built 17,000 roads.”
“Youth must take over, but gradually.”
“Politics is not about money.” (From a career politician with 8 mansions in Dubai.)
And they always end with:
“Nigeria will be great again.”
Yes. Great again for you and your retirement account.
The Reality
The truth is, retirement in Nigeria is just a transfer window.
You leave office and enter contracts, appointments, boards, and blessings.
There’s no exit strategy — only promotion to elder looter status.
Meanwhile, the actual youth?
They’re told to be patient.
To “learn from the elders.”
To volunteer, intern, or become the next polling unit scapegoat.
Because for you, retirement is pension delay.
For them, it’s soft landing on government gravy.
Professor MarkAnthony Ujunwa Nze is a distinguished Nigerian-born investigative journalist, public intellectual, and global governance analyst, whose work spans critical intersections of media, law, and policy. His expertise extends across strategic management, leadership, and international business law, where he brings a nuanced understanding of institutional dynamics, cross-border legal frameworks, and executive decision-making in complex global environments.
Currently based in New York, Professor Nze serves as a full tenured professor at the New York Centre for Advanced Research. There, he spearheads interdisciplinary research at the forefront of governance innovation, corporate strategy, and geopolitical risk. Widely respected for his intellectual rigor and principled advocacy, he remains a vital voice in shaping ethical leadership and sustainable governance across emerging and established democracies.